


Secret Admirer

by lanfraedo



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Genre: Awkward Kylo Ren, F/M, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phone Sex, Public Display of Affection, Sexting, Slow Burn, Sorta Creepy Kylo?, Tags May Change, reader has a secret admirer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-01-29 12:18:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21410071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanfraedo/pseuds/lanfraedo
Summary: "among all the starsyou stand out as the brightestlike the sun itself"You stared down at the piece of paper in one hand and a box of some of the finest chocolates you'd ever seen in the other. Well, at least you knew your secret admirer (stalker?) was loaded with plenty of credits to waste on things like this. Your best friend, Kit, came up behind you, and peeped over your shoulder. You let her read the note, while checking out the box of chocolates.Holy shit, were these from Naboo?Kit looked up at you from the letter, and let out a snort of laughter."Y/N, this is seriously starting to get a little weird," she said, handing you back the note. "Maybe you should report it?"/////////You have a secret admirer.Working for the First Order was already weird enough, but the random presents that were somehow being snuck into your work locker were even more weird. And you can't forget the poems that came with almost every gift.How did this person even have access to your locker? And who was that tall, hot, yet super awkward guy you kept running into around the workplace?He had to be new.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 68
Kudos: 468





	1. a girl and her muffin

"among all the stars  
you stand out as the brightest  
like the sun itself"

You stared down at the piece of paper in one hand and a box of some of the finest chocolates you'd ever seen in the other. Well, at least you knew your secret admirer (stalker?) was loaded with plenty of credits to waste on things like this. Your best friend, Kit, came up behind you, and peeped over your shoulder. You let her read the note, while checking out the box of chocolates. Holy shit, were these from Naboo? Kit looked up at you from the letter, and let out a snort of laughter. 

"Y/N, this is seriously starting to get a little weird." She said, handing you back the note. "Maybe you should report it?"

You let out a sound, looking around to make sure that the both of you weren't nearby anyone that could hear your conversation. "You and me both know that the First Order only cares if we do our jobs and do them well. They don't care about anything else that happens between that." Kit made a face at that, but nodded her head. "I know, I'm just worried this guy, or woman, will eventually get bored of this and, I don't know, stab you one day."

You handed her the chocolates and patted her on the back. "Don't worry about that. If they did kill me, they wouldn't have anyone to write any more love letters for." You closed the door on your locker and nodded towards her.

"Anyways, we only have twenty more minutes left for our lunch break, and I'd prefer to spend them eating, not standing her." Kit laughed at that and held up the chocolates in her hand. "We can do anything you want, your majesty, as long as I get some of these..." She paused looking at the box.

"HOLY SHIT, THESE ARE FROM NABOO!" You hushed her, a smile on your mouth and grabbed her arm, dragging her with you.

The cafeteria on the Starkiller Base could either be heaven or your worst nightmare. You preferred it when it was a peaceful, empty sanctuary with a delicious supply of fresh muffins. Unfortunately, most of the time it was filled with hangry stormtroopers who didn’t understand the concept of being polite and not eating all the goddamn muffins. The muffins were the only decent thing on this planet (aside from the very expensive box of chocolates Kit was currently holding, borderline drooling onto them) and you were willing to fight for one. 

You pushed open the doors of the cafeteria, mentally preparing yourself for the chaos that would be taking place inside. 

The cafeteria was silent, aside form the hum of lights. There wasn’t a single person in the room, and you let out a sigh of relief. You thanked the force, and stepped inside, Kit following you. “I’ll go get our table, grab us some food.” She said, brushing past you. You watched her, noticing how she was already starting to tear into the chocolates. 

Walking over to the tables of food, your eyes began to search for the muffins. You smiled when you saw the tray that would either be overflowing with them or completely be empty. You decided that today must be your lucky day, because there was only one muffin left and it had your first and last name written allllll over it. You went to grab it but paused when the cafeteria doors slammed open. 

Kylo Ren, Supreme leader, the renowned savage of the First Order, stood there, staring at you. You felt your whole entire body freeze up, your blood seemingly going cold. Why was Kylo Ren here? Didn’t he have people to cook for him? If he preferred cafeteria food (weirdo) then someone could easily go get it for him.

Your eyes flicked over to Kit, who was staring back at you with big eyes, mouth covered in chocolate. Your eyes flicked back over to the hulking figure cloaked in black. Seconds that seemed like minutes passed by, as Kylo Ren stood there, his mask reflecting the lights above him. You jumped when he began walking, his boots thudding against the floor, contrasting deeply with the quiet of the room. To be fair though, he contrasted with everything in the white starkness of the room. He dressed himself as if he was trying to camouflage with space itself. 

You’d heard plenty of stories of the Supreme Leader, too many if you were being honest with yourself. It was rumored he’d murdered Snoke, his predecessor and mentor. It was also known that he had murdered _lots_ of people. Mitaka, one of your coworkers, had been nicknamed "Kylo's Dog Toy", due to how much he was choked out by the man. 

No one that you knew of had ever seen Kylo Ren unmasked. The only person that could’ve possibly have seen his true form was Armitage Hux, your boss. And you wouldn’t dare willingly speak to that ginger demon. 

Knowing all of this, you felt a droplet of sweat trickle down your cheek when Kylo Ren, Jedi Killer, Destroyer of Worlds, Scary Guy, etc., strode towards where you stood.   
You knew that you should look anywhere but at him, turn your head away from his stare, but you couldn’t.   
He stood before you, looking down at you, your hand still reached out towards the last muffin. His head twisted to look at the muffin, then back at you. A leather covered hand sprung out towards the muffin, grabbing it.

Oh.

Go fucking figure.

You were too muffin hungry and angry to realize you were making a face at fucking Kylo Ren. 

You were about to say something and probably end up executed on the spot, but before you could, Kylo grabbed one of your hands, placing the muffin into it. Your mouth dropped and you heard Kit gasp. He held onto your hand for a moment too long, the leather covering his own cold. He let go of your hand, stood there for a moment, and then turned around, stomping out of the cafeteria.   
Puzzled, you stood there, staring at the doors that swung closed. 

“Y/N? Y/N!” Kit hissed at you, knocking you back into your senses. Muffin in hand, you rushed over to the table.

“What the hell just happened?” She asked.  
Heart still pounding, you shrugged. “I guess he didn’t want the muffin…or something…” You said, biting into said muffin.

“Why didn’t he get something else then? Why was he here? What the fu-“ You cut Kit off, shoving a chocolate into her mouth.   
“It’s best to not question things that involve Kylo Ren, Kit.”   
She chewed, looking at you, but nodded her head. 

“Maybe he was just trying to be nice…” You mumbled to yourself, Kit scoffing at that. “Yeah and I’m Princess Lei- “

She nearly choked when the doors of the cafeteria swung open again. She sighed in relief when a stormtrooper, and not Kylo Ren, walked in. 

You giggled, chewing on your muffin. “Your mouth is going to get you in trouble one day.” She rolled her eyes at you.   
“Says the one making faces at the Supreme Leader.” She looked at her wrist. “Shit, we need to hurry up.”   
You tossed a napkin at her. “Wipe your face off first.”

The both of you quickly finished your meals, Naboo chocolates and a muffin (very nutritional!). Kit tried to get you to eat one of the chocolates, but you declined. You’d rather know who the chocolates were coming from before enjoying one, something Kit had absolutely no trouble with. Walking back to your station, Kit cracking dumb jokes behind you, you stumbled into someone.

“Oh! I’m sorry.” You said, slightly flustered. You noticed that Kit had gone completely silent. 

“Get back to your station _now_, L/N.” You unfortunately knew that voice too well. Looking up, you were met with the face of Armitage Hux, A.K.A., your boss. This man could probably (definitely) murder you right here, right now, and get away with it. 

Nodding your head, you scurried past him, your best friend following behind you. Your boss watched the both of you, a slight sneer on his face.

Now back in your station, seated at your desk, you let out a massive sigh. You’d somehow escaped death, not once, but twice today. Who would you encounter next? Darth Vader’s ghost? You laughed at that, which Armitage noticed from across the room. He sent a glare your way, which sent you straight to working on your tablet.   
Noticing the time, you silently groaned. There were five more hours left of your workday. Hopefully you wouldn’t have any more run-ins with slightly (very) deranged psychopaths. You wondered what section your secret admirer worked in.

Hopefully, they were having a better day than you were. 


	2. dinner and the weird guy with anger issues(?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! i feel like this chapter especially sucked buuuuuut it's gonna get spicier next chapter, i promise.anyways, thanks again for reading! <3

Leaning back in your seat, you stretched, letting out a yawn. The five hours left for your shift seemed to have taken forever to pass. But it was over now and you could actually enjoy breathing again. 

Your eye wandered back over to your boss, Armitage Hux. Even he looked somewhat tired, something you’d never thought he could’ve done. The man was like a droid. 

Scary.

It’s not that you didn’t enjoy your job. You’d had to work your ass off to get to that point in your career and you were proud of it. You just wish you didn’t have to worry about Hux having you executed for looking at him wrong. 

Getting up, you practically ran out of there, the heels on your feet clicking as you went. You passed by Kit, waving to her. She waved back before descending into her own set of yawns.  
She had a few more hours left to work and as much as you loved her, you weren’t mentally fit to work overtime to keep her company.

The walk back to your quarters didn’t take long, due to the fact that you practically sprinted. Thank the Force that it was later in the day, meaning that the hallways of the Starkiller base were mostly empty. All you needed to do was bump into someone. Reaching the door to your quarters, you let out a relived sigh. When the door slid open to your room, you practically threw yourself into it, flopping down onto your bed, headfirst. You groaned into your pillow as you listened to the door slide back shut.

One of your heels had come off in your tumble, so you kicked the other one off, wincing when it hit the wall across the room with a loud BANG. 

Hopefully, nobody reported that. 

Oh well!

Your stomach grumbled and you sat yourself up, clutching at it. You’d avoided death twice today and now all you needed to do was to find something to eat for dinner. Getting up, you walked over to your closet, pulling out a pair of simple black shorts and a matching top to go along with it. 

What was it with the First Order and only wearing black. . .? 

Shrugging to yourself, you tugged off your work clothes, thankful to be out of them. 

You got dressed quickly, food on your mind. Walking to the cafeteria, you felt a little worried. What if the cafeteria was Kylo Ren’s new hangout spot or something. 

What if you saw him again and he remembered you and suddenly decided, “Hey, she looked at me the wrong way because I grabbed a muffin, something I'm definitely more entitled to because I'm the fucking Supreme Leader™. Time to die!"

And then he'd cut your head off with that weird fucking lightsaber.

Standing outside the cafeteria doors, you took a deep breath.

Whatever. You were hungry.

You pushed them open, a little too quickly, stumbling over your feet into the big room. 

“Fuck!” You mumbled, catching yourself. You heard a clatter of a chair and your head jutted up, scanning your surrounds. 

A man, a really tall man, stood in front of his table. Noticing that you weren’t going to fall on your face, he sat down.  
He still had a look of worry set in on his pale face.  
You tried to smile at him, which probably (definitely) ended up looking more like a grimace.  
His eyes widened, mouth twisting a little and he turned his head back down to look at what he was eating.

Oh. 

You didn’t think you were the hottest thing in this galaxy, but you for a fact that you weren’t terrible looking.

Jerk. You'd just been trying to be nice. 

Huffing a little, you walked over to the plates, grabbing one. You piled some random items on it, too hungry to really care about what you were eating. Plate in hand, you looked over at the tables.

AND THE TALL ASSHOLE HAD STOLEN YOUR (and Kit’s) TABLE.

You were a fully grown, functioning (barely) adult and you probably wouldn’t give a fuck about a table any other day, but you were hangry and already mad that the random guy had sorta snubbed you.  
You took a seat at another table, eyes still on him. You were probably (definitely) being weird, but you couldn’t help it. You hadn’t seen him around the base. Wondering to yourself if he was new employee, you looked him up and down. He refused to look up from his food, taking a bite every now and then. 

He had to be new here, because you would never have missed seeing that face. 

His arms were buff too. Could he be a stormtrooper? No, he couldn’t be. There wasn’t a helmet on the table, and he was alone. Stormtroopers usually came in groups.  
You couldn’t help but notice the long scar that ran down his face. That didn’t take away from his appeal though. . .

The man was fucking hot. Handsome, if you wanted to be polite, but these were your thoughts.

And in your thoughts you could say anything you wanted. 

Unless you were around Kylo Ren because apparently the supreme leader could read minds via the force. Which was kinda weird, but who were you to judge.

You weren’t necessarily a total virgin. You’d had some pathetic experiences with a few males, but had never really enjoyed any of it. You’d even drunkenly made out with Mitaka once (ew).  
But in this moment, you'd be willing to admit that this man could fully, 100% get it.

Every single last ounce of it.

He’d already snubbed you and you weren’t one to make a first move, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t let your imagination run wild for a bit. It’s like you had lost your appetite and it had been replaced with lust. 

Damn, you needed to get laid. 

The man jumped up from his chair, knocking it over. You jumped, looking back down at your plate quickly. Had he noticed you practically drooling over him like a gross pervert? What if he reported you for workplace sexual harassment? Is that even how it worked? 

You snuck a glance over at him. 

The bit of his ears that you could see, that poked out from his dark hair, were tinted pink. It seemed like his whole face was tinted with pink. 

Well, that’s cute. 

Now that he was standing you could really see what you were working with. He wore a long sleeved, athletic shirt with dark pants. You wondered if he had an eight-pack underneath that shirt. His lips were pink, plump, and totally biteable.  
He let out a growl, which totally should’ve weirded you out, but it didn’t.

It just turned you on even more.  
Your subconscious told you to calm down on the horniness. Why did this guy seem so suddenly angry and just. . .pent up. 

I mean, you got annoyed working here too but you weren't having a mental breakdown in the cafeteria currently.

You saved that for your room.

He stomped out of the room and you let out the breath you’d been holding. 

What a weird guy. But he was intriguing. Intriguingly hot. 

You were pretty sure you were being mostly silent with your thoughts. Maybe, you’d been staring a little too hard? Or maybe the guy had anger issues.

The way he stomped out of the room reminded you of someone.

You’d witnessed too many weird things in the cafeteria today and decided that you’d had just about enough of it. You scarfed down your food, put the dirty plate away, and left, heading back to your room.  
Later, when you were brushing your teeth, you realized who the weird, tall guy had reminded you of.

Kylo Ren.

You laughed, spitting in the sink and turning back towards your bed.  
Kylo Ren was supposed to be a deranged, deformed monster, not an incredibly attractive awkward hunk.

When you were in your bed later though, you let your imaginations wander. What if Kylo Ren was actually that attractive under all that black? 

And that’s how your hands began to wonder. 

You somehow masturbated and came to the idea of your Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. You should've been disgusted with yourself, but you weren't.

That guy had been weird, but you were even more weird.


	3. could he be the one. . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reader thinks they've finally narrowed down who their secret admirer is. are you right, reader? or are you wrong? you'll just have to find out, won't you?

When you opened your locker up the next day, you had to admit, you were a little surprised. There, sat the newest X-C21 tablet, the finest one credits could possibly afford. 

It even had a bow tied around it. 

You slammed your locker door back shut, quickly glancing around to make sure nobody had seen the contents inside of it. Your best friend was already at her desk, shockingly extra early for work. 

A wave of worry coursed through you as you slowly opened the door to your locker back up, peeping into it. 

Were simple First Order workers even allowed to have personal access to this new of technology?!

At least you could surely assume that your secret admirer was someone higher up. You reached a hand out, stroking at the glass screen lovingly.

Much higher up.

You weren’t sure if you should turn this in, report it, or just quickly toss it out.  
The thought of your own tablet, an old outdated X-C12 flashed through your mind.

No. You wouldn’t be throwing this out...or reporting it.

You glanced once more at the shining piece of technology and shut your locker door, quickly typing the code into the lock on it.

Walking back over to your desk, your eyes wandered. Okay, so the secret admirer wasn’t Mitaka. 

Or anyone of your coworkers who definitely didn’t make enough to buy a X-C21.

Sitting at your desk, you pouted. Why couldn’t this person just come forward already? Sure, the poems were kind of weird, but they were also kind ofcute. And you’d also like to thank them for the obnoxious amount of too expensive gifts. 

General Hux walked in at that thought, taking his place at the front of the room, red hair perfectly slicked back. You quickly busied yourself with something, already nervous, peeping at him from under your lashes. His eyes scanned the room of workers, stopping on you. His brows furrowed a little and then he turned away, giving orders to someone near him. 

And then it clicked. 

Could it...  
Could it be him?

General Hux could afford an X-C21 tablet. And chocolates from Naboo. 

You could even see him possibly writing cringy poetry.

It was all starting to make sense.  
The constant glares, harsh words, weird amounts of eye contact.  
Armitage Hux was your secret admirer. Or at least he seemed to be.

Was he scary? Yes.

But was he handsome? Yes.

And who knows, the coldness he exhibited to everyone around him could just be a mask.

Underneath that mask, was a gentle man who once compared your beauty to the two suns of Tatooine. 

Or at least you hoped so. You weren’t sure what you’d do if your secret admirer was one of the older, creepier generals. Ew.

You typed away, a small smile on your face. You’d figure your boss would’ve been more assertive with his crush. . . 

You shrugged. 

Kit looked at you across the room, curious as to why you were smiling. You weren’t sure if you’d tell your friend about your newest discovery. Knowing Kit, she’d walk right up to Armitage and ask him exactly how much the Naboo chocolates had cost.

You waved your hand at her, showing that there wasn’t a major reason for the smile on your face. She rolled her eyes, turning back to the assignment on her desk. 

Work seemed to go by faster than usual. While working, you’d sneak a glance at General Hux. Occasionally he’d catch you looking and sneer at you, prompting you to look away. Obviously, he didn’t want you to find out he was your secret admirer. 

Yet. 

You could play along though.

He looked at his wrist, acknowledging the time and straightening out his uniform jacket. 

“Work is excused for today, officers.” He spat out, making everyone in the room shudder a little in fear. Except you, of course.

Everyone gathered their things, quickly exiting the room. You slowly rose from your desk, making sure to pop your ass out a little as you did. Mitaka, who was walking past you stumbled over his feet. He regained his footing and nearly ran out of the room, embarrassed. 

You knew the uniform skirt clung to your hips quite well and accentuated some very nice features. You propped your hands on your desk, stretching out your back. The black opaque tights clung to your thighs and strained against them. You turned your head, looking towards the front of the room where your boss stood. For once his eyes weren’t harsh, instead looking surprised. His cheeks matched his hair and you smirked, straightening up. Turning back around you walked out of the room, hips swaying and heels clacking. 

You said you’d play along, remember?

You made sure to stop by your locker again to pick the X-C21 tablet up, hiding it under your crossed arms. You scurried back to your room, plopping onto your bed. You kicked your heels off and powered the tablet on, already excited. 

It booted up and you let out an excited squeal, rolling onto your stomach, resting on your elbows. You needed to change out of your uniform but that could wait.

New, advanced technology time. 

This was the first time you were genuinely excited over a gift you’d received from your secret admirer (General Hux).

You’d always been a technology fanatic.

On your home planet, you’d been too poor to afford anything like this. So, you’d scavenged for parts, making and taking apart all kinds of devices. Getting into the First Order had been your escape from that type of life. You’d been shocked when they hadn’t chosen you to work as an engineer, even a little disappointed. Being in the First Order was already enough though. You’d never have to starve again. And you had been given your very own X-C12 tablet (though it was already very outdated even at that time). 

You faintly recalled the time you’d had to help a radar technician figure out a bit of wiring he’d been confused about. You’d been walking back from lunch, half eaten muffin in hand when you’d spotted him crouched on the ground. A storm trooper walking ahead of you laughed as he kicked one of the technician’s wrenches, sending it skidding away from him.

“HEY! That was my...” The storm trooper kept walking. “...wrench.” 

The technician finished, sighing and letting his head fall, curly blonde hair falling into his eyes. 

You felt a pang of sympathy in your chest and quickly rushed over to where he was. 

“Uh. Hi. Hold this.” You said, handing him your muffin. You crouched down to look at the exposed section of the wall. He looked down at you, surprise on his face. You looked at the twisted wires in the wall before reaching in and simply connecting one to another. 

Why had that been so difficult for him to figure out? What kind of technicians were the First Order hiring nowadays? This guy should just switch occupations with you. 

You took your muffin back from the man who still had a look of surprise on his face. Standing back up, you straightened out your skirt. 

“You’re welcome.” You mumbled, feeling awkward. The guy just pushed his glasses up his nose. You realized what time it was and cursed, breaking out into a sudden sprint. 

For some reason, remembering this interaction made you remember the hot, awkward guy from the cafeteria you’d come across. You shook your head, pushing those thoughts out of your mind.

Stop thinking weird, brain.

You shook a little as you swiped across the screen of the tablet, eyes taking in all it’s glory. It was beautiful.

And then it vibrated, making you shriek and almost drop it.

One near heart attack later, you held the tablet, reading the message that was displayed at the top of the screen.

DV_69: Hello. I hope you’re enjoying the gift. I’m sorry for not reaching out directly like this to you until now. 

Oh.

OH!

Your secret admirer had actually reached out to you directly for once.  
Though they weren’t revealing anything personal with that username.

You’d already figured out that it was General Hux though, so there was no need for it anyways…

You paused for a moment unsure of how to respond to his message.

And then you had an idea.

You opened the message, fingers quickly tapping out your reply.

rdr_xo_2: Don’t worry about it, General. See you at work tomorrow.

Satisfied, you hit send a smirk on your face. 

If he wasn’t going to make the first move, you might as well. 

The message instantly popped up as ‘read’ and you waited for his reply. Five minutes went by…then ten…then thirty.

Huh.

Maybe he’d fallen asleep.

You suddenly felt a little saddened.  
Rejection was one of the many things you hated.

Sighing, you put the tablet away and went about getting ready for bed. You checked it once more before climbing into bed, only to still find not a single message from him. 

You frowned before yanking the blankets up and burrowing underneath them. 

Your eyes were shut now but the frown remained on your face.  
You eventually fell asleep like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet again, thank you for reading, lovely reader (: let me know what you thought about this chapter! I have finals coming up soon so please have patience with me <3


	4. a rough morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reader isn't the only one having a rough morning.

You woke up, sitting up and wiping at your eyes. 

The light above you sensed that you’d woken up and flickered back on, making you wince from the sudden brightness. Sighing, you reached over to the table beside your bed, grabbing your new tablet from the top of it. 

Tapping, you checked to see if there was a new message from your secret admirer. 

Nothing. Nada. Not a single message. 

You frowned and slapped the tablet down on your bed, flopping back down.

What was his issue? Had it freaked him out that you’d called him out on knowing his identity? 

And then the tablet vibrated. 

You rushed back up, hands reaching out for the tablet.

DV_69: Good morning. Have a nice day.

You quirked an eyebrow at that, letting out a little grin. 

And then looked at the time.  
SHIT!

Jumping up out of bed, you rushed over to your closet, pulling out your uniform. You tripped over your own feet a few times before managing to brush your teeth, fix your hair, and somehow manage to slap on a little makeup. 

You hid your tablet under your pillow before slipping your heels on, waving a farewell kiss to the hidden tablet. 

You were nearly in a sprint, looking down at your wrist when you collided with someone. 

WHY WERE YOU ALWAYD LATE AND RUNNING INTO PEOPLE?

Seriously, you needed to get your act together.

Huffing, you looked up, an apology already on your lips.  
“Sorr-“

Holy shit.

Add ‘running into Kylo Ren’ on that list of things you were always doing. 

Your eyes widened, mouth falling open.  
Yeah, you were definitely getting executed today. 

He raised a hand up and you closed your eyes, fully expected to feel the invisible strain of hands around your neck. 

But instead he grabbed your shoulder, helping you up and making sure you were steady.

Uh?

Still looking up at him, you felt your eyebrows scrunch together, a question obviously on your face. 

And then you felt something reaaaally weird.

It was as if something was somehow digging through your brain, as weird as that sounded. It wasn’t painful. Instead, it tickled, making you let out a small laugh. 

And then it was gone, bringing you back to reality. 

“You’re welcome.” The distorted voice rang in your ears. 

He gave you one last look, and then walked past you, boots thudding against the floor. 

You’re welcome for? Not being executed on the spot? You trembled a little and then slowly began to walk. 

Hey, at least you were still alive. But you couldn’t help but wonder what that weird feeling had been. 

You reached the office where you worked, not even bothering to check your locker. You were already a little late. 

Walking in, you fully expected to see your boss (and secret admirer) Armitage Hux at the front of the room, ready to scream at you.  
Instead, you were shocked to find everyone else present EXCEPT for him?

Huh???

You walked over to Kit’s desk, noticing how slightly alarmed everyone else in the room was.

“Where’s the general?” You whispered into her ear, eyes darting around the room.  
Kit leaned, over cupping her hand over her mouth while whispering back.  
“That’s what we’re all trying to figure out, Y/N.” 

You leaned away from her, the both of you shrugging, before you walked back over to your desk.  
You nervously tapped your fingers on your desk.  
A minute went by…then five…then ten…

And then the door of the office came crashing open, the general tumbling in after it. A few people stood up, obviously alarmed. 

Were we under attack?

He raised a hand up though, making the people sit back down.  
He stumbled over to the front of the room, attempting to straighten up but obviously failing.  
He looked up, one eye black, the other one panicked, before making eye contact with you.

You gasped, noticing the bruising around his neck. 

“Due to certain circumstances, all work is cancelled for today. It has come to my attention,” he paused, gulping, still staring into your eyes. “…that there has been some confusion regarding some…tasks…”

He stood back and motioned at everyone, indicating that his small speech was over, and he was done talking. Everyone was excused for today. 

His eyes left yours and you sat there in your chair, confused and slightly disturbed at how beaten up the general looked. 

It was...sort of pathetic…

Everyone gathered their things together, slowly exiting the room. They all looked confused, slightly alarmed, probably thinking this was some sort of trap. You were the last one to exit the room, but before you did, you looked back at Hux. He was watching you and when the both of you made eye contact, he shook his head quickly, looking afraid.

You whipped your head back around again and met up with Kit outside.  
“What…the-“  
“Fuck?” Kit finished for you, as you both walked. 

You let a laugh out before winding your arm around hers. 

“Hey. There’s something I need to show you.” You whispered.  
She looked at you, curious. “Is it…alcoholic?” 

You rolled your eyes and then remembered your work locker. Cursing, you let go of Kit. 

“Shit. I forgot to check my locker today. Wait for me at my room?” Kit nodded, waving goodbye as you turned around. 

When you made it to your locker, you quickly typed the code in, popping the door open. 

Is that…? 

You reached a hand into your locker, pulling the bottle out.  
“Coruscant’s Vodka.” You read aloud.  
Had Kit somehow fucking peeped into your locker before you? 

Noticing the envelope attached to the ribbon around the bottle, you tugged it off, sitting the bottle down. 

Opening it quickly, you pulled the small note out and read it.

“I’m not the general. Hux only buys gifts for his cat. Enjoy the vodka, it’s my favorite brand.”

You silently put the note away, face blank. You grabbed the bottle, carefully tucking it under one arm to hide it. Walking back to your room, you didn’t smile or blink. 

Your face was a blank slate. 

A stormtrooper walking by noticed this, whispering to his friend, asking if you were some new prototype droid.

Reaching your door, Kit standing beside it, you didn’t acknowledge her greeting, You just typed your code into the door quickly, opening it. Kit, obviously confused, rushed in after you. You waited for the door to close, before sitting the bottle down on your tiny dining table.

And then you let out a wail.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kit shrieked, rushing over to put a hand over your mouth. 

“It’s not him! IT”S NOT HIM!” You screamed from behind Kit’s hand, the both of you nearly wrestling.

“CALM DOWN!” Kit screamed back.

You stilled at that, face flustered, obviously embarrassed and overwhelmed. 

You were so confused. 

If it wasn’t the general, then who was it? And what happened this morning? 

“I know you’re having some sort of crisis and I care but I have to ask. Is that alcohol?” Kit mumbled, pointing at the bottle on the table. 

You nodded, frowning, walking to your bed and flopping onto it. You looked up at the metallic ceiling.

“Kit. There’s something I need to show you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter, there's gossip and vodka. what more do you need? thanks for reading! <3


	5. seven or eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kit and reader have way too much to drink and reader has way too much access to her tablet. seven or eight?

You slammed the bottle down on the table, wiping at your mouth. Kit giggled and clapped her hands together.

“You really thought that your secret admirer was fucking Armitage Hux? Armitage Hux, our boss who literally despises our very existence?” 

You glared at her, your vision already starting to blur around the edges. 

“Well, who else could it fucking be?” You hissed out. “He’s the only person in our unit who can actually afford to buy all that stuff!”

Speaking of stuff, Kit picked your tablet back up. She’d been playing with it for the past hour and you watched her like a hawk, afraid she’d somehow break it. 

“Listen, Y/N. Have you ever thought that your admirer may be in another unit?” 

You groaned at that, hand reaching back to the vodka.

“Why would anyone from another unit even have a remote interest in me, Kit?” 

Kit looked up from the tablet, pouting at you. 

“Don’t you dare try to demean yourself like that in front of me. You’re fucking hot, Y/N. And obviously your secret admirer, stalker, whatever the hell they are, thinks so too.” 

You smiled at her, tears prickling your eyes. You slid the bottle of vodka over to her.

“That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Kit let out a dry laugh, bringing the bottle up to her lips, taking a sip. “Oh, please. I’ve read the shit this dude writes about you. Fuck, this stuff burns so good.”

You watched her for a bit and the jumped from your chair, scaring Kit. 

“What the hell!”

You rushed over to your small cabinet, opening it and pulling two tiny cups out.

“Are those what I think they are?” Kit asked, a devious smile on her face.

You nodded bringing them over to the table. 

“How the hell did you manage to sneak shot glasses in here?”

You shrugged your shoulders, sitting backdown, sliding one glass over to Kit. 

“I’m just good like that.” They’d been a previous gift that you hadn’t bothered mentioning to Kit.

The extra glass was probably not intended to be used by Kit, but oh well.

You poured a shot out for yourself, then Kit, and held the glass up. She grinned and held her glass up too, clinking it with yours, careful to not spill any of the vodka in it.

“Cheers to…DV-underscore-69!” Kit yelled out.

You cheered back before tipping your drink back.

An hour later, you were starting to regret your choices in life.  
At least you had a rare day off tomorrow. 

Kit laid in your bed, snoring while you sat on the hard floor, bottle of vodka now empty beside you. Everything seemed to vibrate, and you let out a giggle, dragging yourself off the floor. You pawed at the buttons on your button-down shirt that suddenly felt too tight. 

Too restrictive.

You sat down at the table, head in your hands.  
And then glanced over to the tablet that sat before you.

You grabbed it, fingers tapping away. It was well past midnight and he (whoever he was) probably wouldn’t be awake but…

You were too drunk to think about that right now. 

Not drunk enough to not type out a message though.

rdr_xo_2: hey u

You smirked. Perfect.

Not even a minute passed before your tablet vibrated.

DV_69: Hello???

You quirked your eyebrow at that. Were that many questions marks necessary? You shrugged before drunkenly typing away.

rdr_xo_2: alright so who th e fuck areu 

A second passed.

DV_69: So, I take it that you found the gift I left for you in your locker.

Speaking of gift, you took a hurried sip of the vodka, wincing at the taste.

rdr_xo_2: yeha no shit  
rdr_xo_2: also how do you keep getting in tHere should I be SCARED

DV_69: Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. 

SWEETHEART. 

Ohhhhh.

You began to type out another message before the tablet vibrated again.

DV_69: I’m not someone you should be afraid of.

You stared down at that message for a moment, a serious expression on your face. 

And then it was gone. 

And you were typing again.

rdr_xo_2: so how big

Sober you is somewhere deep inside your soul screaming right now.

DV_69: What?

rdr_xo_2: wait that’s so fucjing sexist of me to think that ur a guy  
rdr_xo_2: but u r a guy right? (;

Was the winky face necessary?

DV_69: Are you asking me…about?

You let out a groan of annoyance.

rdr_xo_2: HOW BIG IS UR DICK

The message popped up as ‘read’ instantly and you waited patiently for a response. 

By patiently you meant you sat there for a minute before getting bored. 

You exited out of the message, going to the camera. 

Holding the tablet up, you looked up at the camera as seductively as a drunk idiot could. You made sure to press your arms together to make sure your chest looked even better than usual.

Satisfied with that you went back to the message, opening up the camera roll and sending the picture to your secret admirer who definitely had but also didn’t sign up for this.

You had a feeling that you wouldn’t be receiving any more alcohol after this.

If Kit had been awake, you’d probably have been able to have a little photoshoot, but a shitty selfie would suffice for now.

rdr_xo_2: u like what u see xx

The message popped up as ‘read’ again and you began to sweat. Had you freaked him out? Fuck, could this be considered as sexual harassment? 

A vibration shocked you out of your thoughts and you quickly looked at the reply. 

WAS THAT A FUCKING IMAGE?

Holy shit.

I mean, it wasn’t anything special, definitely not a dick pic. 

Next time.

You squinted down at the tablet, trying to take in every little detail of the picture.

It was a…hand.

A big one. A pale big one. With long fingers and a large palm to go along with them. There were a few dark freckles scattered across it and you smiled a little at that. But...

Why a hand? 

Was this supposed to be some fucked up retelling of a fairy tale where you hunt down your prince by looking at hands. 

The tablet vibrated again.

DV_69: Distance from thumb to pointer. 

Huh? 

Wait. 

Oh.  
Ohhhhh.

Wait, that didn’t tell you shit.

rdr_xo_2: ok so like seven inches???//?

DV_69: Don’t underestimate me. Now, go to bed.

Okay, so like…eight…?

rdr_xo_2: so when are u going to let me see u

Your eyes were starting to droop a little and you yawned, your body seeming to finally catch onto how late it was. 

DV_69: Soon. Sweet dreams. 

You looked down at the screen for a moment too long, a slight smile on your face. 

And then Kit let out a particularly loud snore. 

You sighed. 

rdr_xo_2: goodnight sleep tight xxxoxoxox mwa 

Closing the tablet down, you rose up from the chair, moving over towards the bed. 

You pushed Kit over, grumbling, before laying down beside her. 

The last thing on your mind before you drifted off to sleep was the number eight and the pale, freckled hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you for reading <3 i appreciate all your comments, they make me so happy! also poor reader ): i wonder how sober reader will react to drunk reader's antics? have you ever drunk texted someone before? i unfortunately have and yeah...anyways, tune in next chapter for some...exercise? also hi ty


	6. physical exercise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> physical exercise is always good when recovering from a hangover, right? right? okay, maybe not. but you were going to try to be healthy for once. besides...you needed to let some pent up stress off in the gym...and maybe that hot, awkward guy can help...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, guys! i am back (: i'm sorry it's taken a bit for me to get this chapter out! i'm still recovering after the newest movie...yeah, no, in this universe, kylo is way too busy stalking reader to keep up with the galaxy. anyways, as usual, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy (((: <3

“Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!”

You wake up, head pounding slightly, wincing from Kit’s panicked yelling.

And then you remember.

You had the day off, but Kit didn’t.

You watched your friend rush around the room, nodding when she pulled one of your spare uniforms from your closet, holding it out, silently asking if she could borrow it.

She pulled the pieces of clothing on quickly, as you just lay in your bed, attempting to adjust to the feeling of being awake _and_ slightly hung over.

Scratch that, _VERY_ hungover.

You’d really outdone yourself this time, Y/N.

Unfortunately, you weren’t like normal people who couldn’t recall the experiences of a drunken night. 

You remembered EVERYTHING.

Eight inches.

Your tablet was on the table, yet you didn’t reach for it, not wanting to see your drunk texts. You’d save that for later when your head was done pounding.

If it would ever stop pounding...

“I’m about to leave, Y/N.”

Kit’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you waved at her, sitting up in your bed.

“Just don’t get any stains on my uniform.” Your voice was stern. She’d ruined one of your work shirts last time.

Kit rolled her eyes before nodding, adjusting her hair in the mirror.

“Yes, motherrrrrr.” She looked at her wrist, checking the time. “Okay, now I definitely have to leave.”

She rushed over to the bed, pulling you into a quick hug, letting go but not before whispering in your ear.  
“Let me know what happens with the secret admirer.”

Your eyes widened at that and you let out a nervous laugh. 

You’d show her the messages just…not now…

She had to get to work, after all...or that was the excuse you'd use for now.

“Okay! Now, get to work before they fire you and launch you out into space!”

She took your warning seriously, straightening up and walking over to your door.

The door opened with a swish and Kit moved to leave, before pausing, careful not to trip over...something?

You watched as she bent down, picking said-something up.

Curious, you got up from your bed, walking over to where she stood.

She turned around, a smirk on her face, and shoved whatever it was into your arms.

“Bye, my love!”  
And with that she left, the door closing behind her.

Dumbfounded, you stood there, before holding out whatever was in your arms to look at it.

It was a…basket?

Had someone mistook your room for an orphanage?  
Okay, that was a bad joke even for your tastes.

You walked over to the table sitting the basket down before digging into it.

It was full of all sorts of things.  
Pain relief medication, chocolates, fresh water, and of course the typical handwrittten letter.

"Who still uses actual paper nowadays...?" You asked yourself aloud, a small smile on your face as you opened the letter up, eyes scanning what was written.

_To my dear Y/N,_

_I hope you find the contents of the basket useful. Please, if you could message me when you feel like it, so that I know you're okay. _

_Yours always,_

_Your secret admirer xx_

Holding the letter against your chest, you stood there for a moment, eyes clsoed and smiling. 

And then there was a particulary painful ache in your head.

_Ow._

Putting the letter down, you made a mental note to place it with the rest of your collection of the papers taht were currently stacked in a box underneath your bed.

What could you say, you liked that romantic shit.

Opening up one of the bottles of water, and taking out a few pills, you swallowed them down, careful not to choke.

You plodded over to your bed, sitting on the edge of it, reaching out for your tablet.

Logging onto it, you opened up your messages, cringing at the many from last night.

Really, Y/N?

But at the same time, you smirked at the newfound information...eight inches...interesting.

You looked at the picture he'd sent again, zooming in on every single detail.

You looked at it probably for too long, before typing out a message.

rdr_xo_2: uh hi. i am alive.

Smooth!

You waited nervously for a bit, worried he wouldn't reply after all the stuff you'd said last night. 

Stuff that could definitely be deemed as sexual harrassment.

But would someone put a basket of anti-hangover goodies outside their sexual harrasser's door? 

Speaking of that, you should've been disturbed at the fact he knew where you slept, bathed, and masturbated...but you weren't.

It was kind of sweet.

The tablet vibrated and you excitedly read his reply, fingers already on the screen ready to type back.

DV_69: Well, I'd hope so. I take it that you've found the basket?

rdr_xo_2: of course! you're my hero. also, i'm sorry for last night. i hope i didn't disturb you in anyway..

DV_69: I wouldn't call myself a hero. I doubt you would either if you knew who I was. 

You frowned at that, curiosity peaking. You went to type before another message came through, making you pause.

DV_69: And don't worry yourself over last night. There's nothing you could do that would disturb me.

Pff. If only he knew.

rdr_xo_2: you should let me be the judge of that, you know. about the hero thing. and let me get to know you for myself.

A few minutes passed and you worried you'd said the wrong thing. Fuck.

A vibration.

DV_69: my favorite color is blue.

Your eyesbrows rose at that, ypur mouth forming a small 'O' shape.

So, his favorite color was blue.

rdr_xo_2: really? mines .. .

.

Hours had passed, your headache was now gone, and you made sure to thank your secret admirer for that.

The both of you had been messgaing back and fourth for hours now, though he still refused to tell you his nameor who he was.

You did know that he loved fruit and trashy space operas.

He called you by your name and you called him SA, not having any other choice.

This was the first time you'd had the chance to speak to him like this and you were enjoying it probably a little too much.

You typed out old stories from your past life of living on the pathetic excuse of a planet you'b been born on.

rdr_xo_2: i'd always been alone. i have kit, but even then, i still feel alone sometimes.

You'd never told anyone this before, and you weren't sure why you were telling him this now.

Was it possible to feel like you could trust someone you'd never met?

DV_69: You're not alone.

You reread that message a few times, fingers stroking the words on the screen.

DV_69: I have to attend to something. I will be back soon.

You noticed the time then, noting that it was well into the afternoon.

rdr_xo_2: i understand. take your time xx 

Blushing a little at the last few characters you typed, you put the tablet down, walking over to your closet.

If he was going to be gone, then you might as well go do something to pass the time.

You pulled out a pair of shorts, pulling them on, adding a tank top.

Feeling somewhat confident, you plucked the tablet up, opening the camera.

You held it out, looking up at the camera and smiling. 

You took the picture and sent it, before you could stop yourself.

Maybe, if you were lucky you could get something in return...

You put the tablet back down, pulling on a pair of athletic shoes, and leaving your room.

The halls looked empty as usual, aside from a stray storm trooper that made sure to look you up and down.

You rolled your eyes as you heard the distorted whistle come from his mask.

Ugh. Stormtroopers.

You ignored him, walking until you made it to your destination.

The first order gym was a wonder that you weren't used to.

It was fully equipped with everything you could possibly think of, and probably full of things that you had no idea how to operate but...

FUCK IT! We're brave! We're confident! We can do this!

Or at least you tried telling yourself that.

You entered the massive room...that was empty...you were starting to wonder if you were missing out on something.

Shrugging, you walked over to a random machine, picking whatever _that_ was up and yanking on it.

Nothing happened.

You yanked on it again, huffing at the strain of it.

"Do you need some help with that?" 

The voice was soft, but deep.

And close.

Shocked, you let go of _that_ and fell back.

Right into the arms of someone.

Their hands came around your waist, holding you against them, careful not to let you fall over.

Okay, wow, whoever this was, they were massive. 

Leaning your head back against their chest, you looked up.

Fuck. 

It was the guy from the cafeteria.

The guy that had borderline growled at you and stomped out of the cafeteria after you'd stared at him...and maybe drooled a bit.

Speaking of drooling, you finally relaized how he was holding you. 

His hands were big enough to cover your hips fully, thumbs meeting at the middle of your stomach.

You could feel how hard his body was behind you, all muscle, noticing how he he hulked over you.

"A-Ah." You stammered, face flushing.

Seeming to notice your reaction, he let go of you quickly, taking a few steps back.

"I'm sorry! You just- You were falling an-" His face was red, eyes wide as he tried to explain himself.

You raised a hand up, stopping him, before smiling up at him.

"It's okay, I appreciate you not letting me fall. And I would definitely appreciate some help with...whatever this is."

He looked down at you,nervously, bringing a hand up to run it through his messy dark curls.

Fuck, you wondered how they felt.

No! You have your secret admirer, you told yourself.

"O-Oh. Okay."

You kept your distance from him, though you held your hand out.

"I'm Y/N, by the way."

He hesitated before taking your hand, and you blushed a little at how big his was compared to yours.

"Ben. I'm Ben."

He held your hand for a moment before letting go, though you swore he rubbed his thumb against your hand.

Smiling up at him, you nodded before moving aside tolook back at the machine.

"Okay, now please show me how to work this fucking thing."

He moved to stand before the machine, picking up what you'd been holding before, handing it to you.

"Okay...You're going to hold this with both hands and pull on it slowly."

He watched as you tried.

"No, more like..."

He moved behind you, placing both of his hands over yours.

Eyes wide, you felt him pull, his hands tight over yours.

He had to lean over you, his head coming to rest over your shoulder.

You could hear his breathing.

You could feel him .

You could even smell him.

Oh _no_,he smelled good.

"Do you understand?"

Before you could even realize what you were doing, you leaned into him, your behind coming to rest against his lower region.

His breathing stopped along with his hands, and you swore you could hear own heartbeat.

"N-Not yet." You said, your voice coming out obnoxiously raspy.

A moment passed before he began to move again, his breaths more harsh.

"Well, I guess I'll have to show you some more."

Your hips began to move on their own and you swore, _swore_, you could feel him grinding his own into you.

Fuck, what were you doing.

Anyone could come in at any minute.

But you couldn't stop, leaning your head back against his chest, eyes closed in pure pleasure.

"B-Ben." 

He let go of the the machine and his hands were on you, running up your sides, coming to rest over your breasts, kneading them.

You moaned, reaching up to grab his head, curling your hand into his hair.

Fuck, that was some good hair.

He thrusted against you, making you gasp,and then his mouth was on your neck.

He lapped at the skin there, teeth nipping at you.

It would leave a mark and you felt yourself grow even wetter at the thought of it.

He leaned back, one of his hands coming up to rest on your cheek, turning your head to look up at him. 

His pupils were huge, making his dark eyes look imposssibly darker. His lips were glistening, slightly swollen. 

You turned around, but not before noticing that something...was poking you.

At least, you weren't the only one enjoying this weird thing.

You stood on your tippy toes, still too short, hands reaching up to tug him down to your level.

"AHEM!"

The both of you instantly stilled, your blood running cold.

You slowly turned to look over at whoever had disturbed your very public...experience.

A random guy, wearing the off-duty uniform of a stormtrooper stood there, arms crossed.

"If you want to do that, go to your room."

Your face was hot and you let go of Ben, suddenly conscious of yourself and what you'd been doing. 

He reached out to grab you, but you pulled away, moving away and past the stormtrooper who watched as you left.

Already halfway down the hall, you almost turned around when you heard the crash of _something_ hitting a wall.

Whatever.

Embarrassed, you practically sprinted to your room, the door opening in a hurry, like it sensed your distress.

You kicked your shoes off, crumbling onto your bed, burrowing your face into your pillow.

Fuck. What had happened back there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! SOME ACTUAL SORTA ACTION! are you guys pleased? i am (;


	7. the benefits of technology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the good thing about technology is that it's always improving.  
and that there's a camera on your tablet.   
and an option to voice call.  
your night is about to get even more exciting, reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am _so_ sorry it's taken forever to get this chapter out. school has been extremely busy and my mental health hasn't been the greatest. but!!! i think i know how this story ends and i'm excited for it now. (: thank you for being patient with me and, as always, thank you for reading.<3

You didn’t know how long you lay there in bed. It could’ve been a few minutes or an hour. You weren’t counting the time.

When you heard your tablet vibrate from it’s resting place, you let a loud groan out, voice muffled by your pillow. You sat up from your bed, rubbing at your eyes, reaching a hand out to grab for the expensive piece of technology.

DV_69: I’m back.

Should…Should you tell him about what happened?

Sure, he wasn’t technically your partner but…

He’d done so much for you and you’d just let some random — but hot — guy dry hump you at a _very_ public gym.

Another message came through, interrupting your thoughts.

DV_69: You look nice.

You’d forgotten about the picture you’d sent him earlier and scrolled back up to the message you’d sent earlier, opening it up and looking hard at it.

Your neck in the picture was clear of any marks, and you knew that if you took a photo of yourself now, the difference would be obvious.

Thinking about that, you brought a hand up to run it down your neck. Ben’s mouth had been _so_ soft, yet his teeth had been sharp against your neck. 

It had felt good.

_It had felt right._

Another message.

DV_69: Are you there?

You shouldn’t reply right now. Your head’s not in the right place. You’re going to do something you’ll end up regretting.

Your fingers avoided the keyboard completely, instead going back to the camera and opening it up.

You stared down at yourself, noticing how heavy your eyes were and the slight flush in your cheeks. And when you craned your neck, you could see the patch of bruised skin there.

_Would he get mad?_

You wanted to know.

You wanted to find out.

Laying back on your bed, you held the tablet up over yourself, twisting your neck to the side while peering up at the camera from underneath your lashes. 

There’s a flash and before you can stop yourself, before your senses can kick in, you send the picture.

You lay there, waiting, lip pulled into your mouth in nervous excitement. 

Not even 30 seconds pass before his next message comes through.

DV_69: Oh.

You wonder what he looks like. He’s pale, you know that from the hand pic.

He’d be easy to mark up.

You chew on your lip a little, fingers poised over the screen. Is he mad? Does he notice the hickey on your neck?

rdr_xo_2: i missed you.

And you’re not lying when you send that message. The both of you had only been communicating for a few days now, but there was something there. Talking to him was easy. It’s like you could tell him anything.

DV_69: Show me.

You cock your eyebrow at that, lips parting as your eyes trace over the words a few more times.

Confused—and aroused—your fingers are quick as they type out a reply.

rdr_xo_2: show you?

DV_69: Show me how much you missed me.

_Oh._

Your mind blanks a little, brain buffering. You hadn’t actually expected him to take charge. But, now he had and you weren’t sure what to do next.

Well, you did know what you _could_ do…

Sitting the tablet back down, you brought your hands to the bottom of your tank top, fingers curling around the edge of it and pulling upwards. 

You easily tugged the tank top off, now only left in a standard black sports bra and shorts. Maybe after this he’d send you some fancy lingerie. 

_Maybe he’d reveal his identity and he could take your shirt off himself._

Picking the tablet back up you opened the camera again, taking a more “hands-on” approach with your pose. You leaned over a bit, pushing your arms together to enunciate your cleavage. You brought your other hand up to your face, holding a finger against your lips that were already starting to swell from all the nervous biting. 

You took the picture, sending it but not before adding a line of text to go along with it. 

rdr_xo_2: like this?

DV_69: Just like that.

DV_69: But I think there’s a bit more you can do.

DV_69: The shorts. Take them off.

There’s a sudden flush of excitement at the slightly controlling undertone of his messages, making you grow even warmer. 

Not one to disobey, you follow his instructions, raising your hips up to pull your shorts off, letting them fall onto the floor with your top. You should feel chilled now, only in your bra and panties, but the cool air of your room seems to have no effect.

The next picture you take is more risqué than the last. You silently thank whoever decided a timing feature for the camera was a good idea. It’d been a great idea.

In the photo, you’re sprawled out on the bed, legs slightly spread. It looks like you’re teasing the camera.

_Teasing him._

A minute passes after you send the picture and you impatiently wait for his reply. What if he was just joking around? What if he thought you were a pervert? What if—

The tablet vibrates but doesn’t stop like it should

Alarmed, you grab it, eyes wide. 

_Voice call from DV_69_

What the _fuck?_ You knew this tablet was pretty advanced, but there’s a _voice call_ option on it?

_Amazing._

You nervously answer the call, holding the tablet in your hands.

“H…Hello?”

You wince a little at how your voice trembles, silently cursing your nerves _and_ excitement. 

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You’re not sure what you were expecting, but you’re shocked. His voice is _deephot_.

Those two simple words make you even more horny, if that’s even possible.

But at the same time, his voice sounds familiar. You’d think about it but right now all you can think about are large, pale hands and the fact that you’re barely clothed. You’ll save it for later.

“How are you?” 

Smooth, Y/N. Real smooth.

There’s a rumble — a laugh? — before he speaks again.

“I’m doing well. Other than some _obvious_ frustrations,” you gulp. ”But..I think you can help me with that.”

You nod at first, but then realize he can’t see you. _Get yourself together, Y/N! _

“O-Of course, sir.” The ‘sir’ escapes your lips before you can stop it from escaping. 

A habit from working for the First Order.

If he notices your slip-up, he doesn’t acknowledge it. _Maybe he likes it, _ you think to yourself, thighs pressing together at the thought. 

He probably did notice it, because his voice is even more husky when he speaks again.

_If that’s even possible. _

“No,” there’s a pause before he continues. “You _will_ help me.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice.

And that’s how you end up on your back again, bra and panties discarded on the floor with the rest of the clothes. Your legs, folded, thighs spread apart as you desperately rub at your clit, trembling.

“Just like that, honey.” You let out a whimper, your secret admirer’s voice loud in the stark quiet of your room. “You’re so good for me. Are you my good girl?”

Yet again, you nod, your brain numb with pleasure.

“Use your words.”

“Y-Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir, what?"

“I’m your good girl, sir.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath and you can tell that he’s just as affected as you are by what’s taking place.

“That’s what I thought.”

Another moan escapes your lips.

“I..I..” You’re not sure what you’re trying to say, but you can’t help the stuttered words that come from your mouth.

“What, baby?” His voice trembles when he asks you this, clearing your head for a moment.

“I wish you were here.”

A moment passes by, silent other than your tiny gasps and the deep inhale you hear over the tablet. 

“Soon. I’ll be there soon.”

_How soon_, you think to yourself semi-aggressively.

“But right now I need you to come for me, sweetheart.”

Like you said before, he doesn’t have to tell you twice.

Your orgasm comes in waves, the feeling of it overtaking your body. You have to hold a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from shouting, and even then you know you’re being too loud.

_Embarrassing._

If your secret admirer cares about it, he doesn’t complain aloud. He waits until you’ve calmed down to speak.

“Good girl.”

A lazy smile spreads across your face and you yawn, turning over towards your tablet and pulling it into your arms.

You hug it against your bare chest, the cold metal chilling the flustered skin there.

“I’m not sure about what to say.” You sound exhausted. You _are_ exhausted.

“Don’t worry about having to say anything.” Your eyes flutter shut, though you fight against sleep. “Just go to sleep. It’s been a long day.” 

You nod sleepily. 

“Goodnight, Ben.”

He grows silent. You’re practically half asleep by now, still holding onto the tablet. 

“…Goodnight, sweetheart.”

That’s the last thing you remember before sleep takes over your body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you made it to the end! wow! congrats! what do you think about reader's slip-up at the end? thank you for reading, dear reader. (:


	8. executions and revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your secret admirer sounded a _lot_ like Ben. 
> 
> And your secret admirer hadn’t completely hung up on you when you addressed him by that name.
> 
> You pursed your lips.
> 
> But…what if you made the same mistake, you’d made with Hux?
> 
> You were probably just overthinking.
> 
> Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS LONG TIME NO POST (': it's me, perse, back with the excuses..._haha_. 
> 
> i've been dealing with adult things like figuring out where i'm going to live (figured it out!!!) and the death of a pet (rip meowmeow!!!) aaaaand writer's block (still figuring that one out). 
> 
> but, there's a chapter count for this fic!! finally!! 
> 
> thank you for your patience and comments and kudos and overall support (: hope you enjoy! <3

You awakened with a startle, your alarm sounding off and borderline ringing in your ears.

Groaning, you reached over to the alarm on your table, turning it off. 

You laid in bed for a moment, taking in everything that had happened recently.

And then you remembered last night. 

You shot up from your bed so quickly, that your back cramped up, making you flop back down and cringe in pain.

You’d called your secret admirer...Ben. 

_Ben._

You were used to being a slight fuck-up at life, but this was really something new. 

But…why had you called him that?

Was it just a slip of the tongue, due to your drowsiness or…?

Cramp now gone, you lay there, staring up at the ceiling of your room, a slightly puzzled look on your face.

Your secret admirer sounded a _lot_ like Ben. 

And your secret admirer hadn’t completely hung up on you when you addressed him by that name.

You pursed your lips.

But…what if you made the same mistake, you’d made with Hux?

You were probably just overthinking.

Probably.

Sighing, you got up from bed, walking slowly over to the fresher to clean up and prepare for the day ahead of you. 

You tried too hard not to think about your secret admirer, Ben, or Armitage Hux’s bruised face while you were in there, focusing instead on washing your hair and hurrying up on your morning routine, not wanting to be late.

You finished up, hopping out of the fresher and toweling your hair off. You went over to your closet, pulling out your uniform, the usual skirt, tights, and blouse. You put them on, careful to not miss any of the buttons on your shirt, brushed your damp hair into a bun, and dragged your heels on.

You weren’t sure if you should check your tablet for a message or not. What if it was something you didn’t want to see, such as your secret admirer calling you out on your mistake last night?

Another sigh.

At least your lungs were perfectly functioning.

You smoothed your hands over your skirt, giving yourself one last look-over, before leaving.

The hallways were empty as usual—seriously, were you missing out on a message or something— and the click of your heels seemed to echo. When you got to work, you opened your locker up, expecting for a letter to fall out like usual.

But that didn’t happen.

Your locker was empty.

Stark empty.

A prickle of anxiety ran down your back and you frowned, closing the locker door. 

Maybe, just _maybe_, you had seriously fucked up this time.

You marched over to your desk, not bothering to glance at Kit (who still hadn’t returned the uniform she’d borrowed) as you did, and fell back into your chair with a loud _huff_. 

“Y-Y/N?”

Mitaka’s pitiable voice made you turn your head to the side, where the man stood, staring down at you uneasily. 

You crossed your legs, resting your head against your hand and leaning over your desk.

“Yes?”

Mitaka glanced around, and when he did you noticed how quiet the room had suddenly gotten.

Why was everyone on this damn station so quiet?

“You’ve..uhm,” He paused and you quirked your eyebrow, silently encouraging him to continue. “You’ve been summoned.”

You heard Kit gasp from her desk, but you didn’t take your eyes off of Mitaka, who looked like he was about to faint. 

“…Summoned?” 

He nodded slowly.

“Yes. By the S-Supreme L-L-Leader.”

One heart palpitation later, you let out a small groan, so low that only Mitaka would be able to hear it.

Mitaka leaned in closer.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

Yeah, you were definitely being executed today. 

And – to make things even better – Hux walked in the room.

_Kriff._

“Why are all of you just sitting around? Get to wor-,” he paused, noticing you. “Oh. Y/N. You’ve been summon-“

“I know,” you interrupted him, not caring about the possible repercussions of doing such. It’s not like you could get in trouble if you were dead. Which you would be very soon.

You got up from your chair, bidding one last farewell to your desk. 

You avoided looking at Kit as you passed by, not wanting to see the tears that would be in her eyes.

Instead, you held your head high, poked your chest out, and tried to act like you weren’t a quivering mess. 

The walk to the Supreme Leader’s room was short, yet seemed to take forever, the click of your heels deafening in the otherwise quiet hallway. 

Standing there for a moment, you took a deep, breath, which came out shakier than you intended. Maybe if you acted like how you felt, which was terrified, he’d take pity on you and make your death quick. 

Why was he even executing you _now_?!

You could understand it happening right _after_ the muffin or the hallway incident, but it had been a few days since then and you were a good worker and there were plenty of other idiots to execu—

The doors in front of you opened with a _hiss_, the abruptness of it making you pause from your thoughts. 

What were you supposed to do now?

Wasn’t there usually a stormtrooper to escort people to their doom in these type of situations?

Swallowing nervously, you took a hesitant step inside, the doors immediately closing behind.

No escape now. 

As if there ever was.

There were no guards present in the large, vacant room. There seemed to be present in the room, actually.

You may be slightly oblivious, but even you knew that this was weird. 

You peeped up from under your lashes, eyes scanning the place. It had changed since Snoke had been the Supreme Leader. 

Instead of the red drapes that had once hung on the walls, they were now replaced with black ones, which made the room feel even more massive than it already was. 

Which, in turn, made you even more uneasy. 

“Hello.”

You spun around at the modulated voice, heart spiking. 

Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, stared down at you. 

Or at least it seemed like he was staring at you. His mask hid whatever emotions were on his face and you quickly looked down at the floor. Should you just go ahead and fall to your knees and start begging for mercy? 

As if Kylo Ren would listen to your begging.

Your eyes stayed glued to your feet and the overwhelmingly tall, _big_ figure before you made no movements. 

Until he reached up for his mask. 

You didn’t dare let your eyes follow those motions and winced when you heard the hiss of his helmet coming off. And then the _thunk_ of it hitting the floor. 

Was this his weird ritual he did before executions? Let his prey see his face before slaughtering them? You’d bet he was mighty frightful. Probably old and scarred. Not _hot_ scarred like Ben was. Probably missing an eye _and_ hair. 

Your curiosity nudged at you, and before you knew it, you couldn’t take it any longer. You were going to die anyways, might as well get a peek in. It’s not like you’d be able to gossip about the infamous man’s mysterious face with Kit or anyone else, if you were deceased. 

Tipping your head up in a flash, you felt your eyes widen at who peered down at you. 

It was…Ben?

…Ben?

His eye twitched, his lips spread in a nervous smile.

“Surprise?” 

Your head was suddenly warm. Too warm, like all the blood in your body had rushed there in _quite_ a hurry. You swayed as you listened to your pulse hammer in your ears, and Kylo, Ben, whoever the fuck he was, reached a hand out to catch you.

And like Mitaka, who you always mocked, you fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooooh shit. o:
> 
> the secret is out!
> 
> ...sorta...
> 
> thank you for reading! xx

**Author's Note:**

> reader gets to meet someone tall, dark, and awkward next chapter (; let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it! thanks for reading <3


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